When a man loves

(Section from my upcoming book, Your Brigita)



  Let’s understand each other, I don’t have five lives and am not completely sure if next one exists, I will spend it with her. I’m not sure I’ll be lucky enough too meet her twice. So I’m telling you people, I don’t have time for your stupid advice on ‘how to have her and not be good to her’. I’m giving her this life to the end, to my bones. And deeper, and more. Because I love her!
I’m good to her, because I love her.
I please her, because I want her to be happy.
I think only of her, because she makes me happy.

I would never weigh her down, I would put the wind in her sails, and at the same time watch her back.
I don’t want her to die cause of me-I want her to live cause of me! Every day of her life.

Yes, I’m jealous. I’m jealous because I want her only for myself and that is why I love her stronger and better then any before me, because I don’t want anyone to be better then me. To her.
I have heard all of you who are saying-’don’t show her you care, don’t let her be the only one’. I have heard you all. But what is all of that good to me, when I have everything in her? She is my everything. I don’t need others.
I also heard your-’don’t be whipped’. But it’s my choice to be hers. To the end. It’s my decision to serve her if needed. Because I love her.
If I’m whipped cause I’m pleasing the one I love and if I’m whipped cause I want to fulfill all of her desires-so be it! I say with pride-I AM THEN THE BIGGEST AND HAPPIEST WHIPPED MAN IN THIS WORLD!
And no matter what you advise me, and no matter what you want to teach me-thank you in advance but don’t bother. Because I will teach you something-when you find the one, if you are as lucky as I am, for whom you want to live better, next to whom you want to sleep with every night and wake up with every morning...if you every find the one that makes your heart skip a beat, the one that is the breath of life to you-then, and only then, you will understand me. Till then, enjoy everything that is fleeting. Because my life for her is not. Because this love I have makes me the happiest man in this world. This love has raised me from the dead.
I was once like you. But I’m not any more. Cause of her. Now I am alive. Now I’m breathing and feeling my heart beating and I know and feel it is happy because of Her.
Believe me, no matter what I’m like in your eyes, that’s unimportant to me. I see myself only in hers.
And believe me, she has the most beautiful eyes in the world. Eyes I want to disappear into, eyes I want to live in.
Maybe I’m crazy, but because of love, cause of her love I’d rather be crazy then empty and alone, with a thousand hands clapping to me that don’t mean anything to me, absolutely nothing compared to her smile.
I’m hers forever. Both servant and guardian.
No, I don’t need a woman to be her master. I have found her. And in her I have become everything I could have dreamt for myself!
Believe me, love...love is craziness you want to last. Craziness that makes me ‘walk on clouds’. With her. I am tired of walking through mud. Too tired. And nothing has ever made me feel the way I’m feeling now because of Her. And this feeling, this world of ours, I’m not giving for anything on this world!
So you can judge me and pass judgment.
If I die, I won’t be sorry BECAUSE I HAVE LIVED ENOUGH WITH JUST ONE DAY WITH HER, A HUNDRED OF YOUR LIVES WORTH...AND IT WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH FOR ME! That is what I’m fighting for. That is what I’m living for.
I accept that she leaves if she finds more happiness, but I’ll do everything every day to be the biggest happiness in her life and that she never desires to leave. It’s my honor to be called Hers. It’s the only honor I need in life. Not your approval, not your clapping. I don’t need any of that. Nothing! Only Her. Her and her look, her touch, her voice...All of her.
...I know, I’m asking a lot from life wanting to be the only one to be lucky enough to be Hers. But I hope I will earn that with my love for Her. Because I love her and I want Her to be her own and complete because of my love. The happiest girl in the world.
My love.