(From my upcoming book, Your Brigita)
Marriage.
Times have changed and not only have they changed but they are changing a lot. ALL OF THE OLD POSTULATES OF RELATIONSHIPS, ESPECIALLY THOSE THE SOCIETY AND FAMILY HAVE BEEN BASED ON FOR CENTURIES, ARE ALMOST DISAPPEARING.
The only question is if that which is disappearing was truly good or it was something based solely on the need to maintain the image and structure of society?
I am still surprised at just how much people are still struggling with the notion of homosexuality. And am not thinking about homosexuals but heterosexuals. Things have simply changed. But it seams as though some people think that with their denial and non acknowledgement of homosexuals they can return things to what they were before people had the freedom to publicly state what they like and be with those of the sex they are attracted to. Funny isn't it?
*IT'S LIKE WATCHING SOMEONE COVERING THEIR EYES SO THEY DON'T HAVE TO WATCH A SCENE IN A MOVIE THAT THEY DON'T LIKE, THAT FRIGHTENS OR EMBARRASSES THEM, AND THEN WHEN THE SCENE IS OVER CONTINUE TO WATCH THE MOVIE.*
A lot of people view homosexuality and the changes in society brought upon it by public acknowledgement of it in just such a way, covering their eyes with their hands and hoping it will pass. But it won't. Because it's not fashion. It has always been a part of society, it's nature.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEN AND NOW IS IN THE FREEDOM OF EXPRESION AND OPEN LIVING OF ONE'S SEXUALITY AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
Maybe all won't agree, but whether they do or don't, it is like that.
Some would say that they do not want to talk about it because it's non of their business. But it is all of our business!
Maybe not because of ourselves but certainly because of those coming after us. Our children. The future. Homosexuality is as much a sexuality as heterosexuality is.
It's the truth that the “appearance” of , or better said, social permission for homosexual partnerships to be made and lived freely, is changing the learned, accepted and common form and image of families.
The appearance of families is changing.
What is probably being changed first is parenting, it's roles, and primarily in a way that children no longer come only from the husband and wife but other people are also involved, of the opposite sex then the homosexual partners, needed to conceive the baby. So we have families with more genetically involved persons then just two parents, where maybe one is “excluded” and a person not necessarily a part of that marriage is included.
And what else is changing? That the child might be adopted, or maybe born by a surrogate mother or a
donor father and raised by homosexual partners?
Raised by a mom and dad who are the same sex? And maybe the terms mother and father will no longer be linked with particular sexes...maybe going so far as to completely erase those expressions as bases for family and parenting?
And what else?
What else is changing?
What else is bothering someone so much that they would prefer that scene not to exist, to go away?
The fact that in stead of two women, at least, kissing in some porn film, now there are two men, at least
or not, and it's not in a porn film or in the purpose for which porns are made, but it's now new foundation of family, shoulder to shoulder with heterosexual partners making up a marriage?
Why someone thinks that a scene with two women having sex is truly more normal then a scene with two men?
Are things like that more acceptable only if they are in porns and are used only by heterosexuals or in fact homosexuals who are afraid to acknowledge their sexual orientation and live under a mask of a typical, accepted marriage, so they could still remain a part of a privileged role in society, for their sexual gratification?
And who was the first to come up with the idea of a homosexual scene in porns? A homosexual who considers himself "healthy" and heterosexual if he likes watching two women kissing and caressing or two
men doing the same, and has a partner of the opposite sex, or a homosexual? Who's idea was that really?
A marriage in our environment firstly means and includes monogamy, meaning one partner.
If people are insisting on interpreting and respecting church rules, why is breaking one of those, a Commandment, referring to legal monogamy, meaning being faithful to that one partner, a lesser sin that is more easily forgiven, or more allowed in those same circles, then homosexuality?
Why is it more important to preserve a marriage even if it may not even be, in that case, a picture of what a marriage should be if commandments and rules are respected, then to respect a marriage that truly is what it's supposed to be?
Why is it more acceptable for a believer to have a classical marriage and with it cheat on his/her spouse and not enjoy that marriage at all, and his/her spouse also, and in the same time like group sex maybe only in porns, what ever, and allow him/her self to get aroused by homosexual scenes of actors in that porn, and that homosexuality is allowed or forgiven to him/her as a believer, but a honest desire by one person towards another of the same sex is not?
It's not even necessary that they re monogamous, but about people as people, better or worse, in some shape of their behavior, character..., because let's not forget, NO MATTER THE SEXUAL ORIENTATION, FAITHFULNESS AND RESPECT FOR THE INSTITUTION AND DESIRE FOR THE SAME KNOWN AS MARRIAGE, ISN'T ABOUT SEXUAL ORIENTATION, IT'S ABOUT WHO PEOPLE ARE AS PERSONS AND WHAT THEIR VALUES AND OPINIONS ARE AND WHAT THEY ASPIRE THEM TO BE in their lives.
So, what if it's two people of the same sex who have in them implanted or developed longing for monogamy and marriage, what then? Should that marriage be less respected then the one with heterosexual partners? "Should it be allowed at all", as has been debated about around the world?
Or is it only a privilege for heterosexual persons even though they might not understand or support it's true meaning and purpose?
Should people be and is it allowed for them to be discriminated in their human rights based on their sexual or any other orientation?! And for what?!
A marriage as a marriage is a wonderful thing.
Problem with marriage is that it is forced and dictated as a social norm that must be fulfilled in order
for a person to be accomplished or accepted or respected human being.
Even though in the very essence of marriage lays love, only a few have called upon love when marriage was trying to be preserved. And almost everything was used to convince people that marriage "must be" in their lives.
A society logically must have it's form, but please, WHAT HAS FORCING PEOPLE TO ARRANGED MARRIAGES for instance, HAS TO DO WITH MARRIAGE AS A SYMBOL AND ACT OF TRUE LOVE AND DESIRE FOR BELONGING TO ONE ONOTHER AND A CONCIOUS WISH FOR IT TO LAST AND ENDURE FOR THE REMAINDER OF THEIR LIVES, UNTILL OLD AGE FOR BOTH OF THEM?!
Is it possible that it is better to be in a marriage where people do not love each other, do not respect each other, do not respect the vows they made to themselves and to God, and are still married, then to be in a marriage or a partnership because they truly love each other and have a common goal in life
and with that marriage, and stand behind their choice because of love for instance?
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT MARRIAGE IS SACRED ABOVE A PERSON?
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT MARRIAGE AS AN INSTITUTION IS MORE VALUABLE THEN A PERSON
AS A HUMAN BEING?
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT LOVE DOESN'T HAVE TO HAVE THE MOST IMPORTANT OR IN FACT ANY ROLE IN MARRIAGE?
A lot of people view homosexuality and the changes in society brought upon it by public acknowledgement of it in just such a way, covering their eyes with their hands and hoping it will pass. But it won't. Because it's not fashion. It has always been a part of society, it's nature.
THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THEN AND NOW IS IN THE FREEDOM OF EXPRESION AND OPEN LIVING OF ONE'S SEXUALITY AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION.
Maybe all won't agree, but whether they do or don't, it is like that.
Some would say that they do not want to talk about it because it's non of their business. But it is all of our business!
Maybe not because of ourselves but certainly because of those coming after us. Our children. The future. Homosexuality is as much a sexuality as heterosexuality is.
It's the truth that the “appearance” of , or better said, social permission for homosexual partnerships to be made and lived freely, is changing the learned, accepted and common form and image of families.
The appearance of families is changing.
What is probably being changed first is parenting, it's roles, and primarily in a way that children no longer come only from the husband and wife but other people are also involved, of the opposite sex then the homosexual partners, needed to conceive the baby. So we have families with more genetically involved persons then just two parents, where maybe one is “excluded” and a person not necessarily a part of that marriage is included.
And what else is changing? That the child might be adopted, or maybe born by a surrogate mother or a
donor father and raised by homosexual partners?
Raised by a mom and dad who are the same sex? And maybe the terms mother and father will no longer be linked with particular sexes...maybe going so far as to completely erase those expressions as bases for family and parenting?
And what else?
What else is changing?
What else is bothering someone so much that they would prefer that scene not to exist, to go away?
The fact that in stead of two women, at least, kissing in some porn film, now there are two men, at least
or not, and it's not in a porn film or in the purpose for which porns are made, but it's now new foundation of family, shoulder to shoulder with heterosexual partners making up a marriage?
Why someone thinks that a scene with two women having sex is truly more normal then a scene with two men?
Are things like that more acceptable only if they are in porns and are used only by heterosexuals or in fact homosexuals who are afraid to acknowledge their sexual orientation and live under a mask of a typical, accepted marriage, so they could still remain a part of a privileged role in society, for their sexual gratification?
And who was the first to come up with the idea of a homosexual scene in porns? A homosexual who considers himself "healthy" and heterosexual if he likes watching two women kissing and caressing or two
men doing the same, and has a partner of the opposite sex, or a homosexual? Who's idea was that really?
A marriage in our environment firstly means and includes monogamy, meaning one partner.
If people are insisting on interpreting and respecting church rules, why is breaking one of those, a Commandment, referring to legal monogamy, meaning being faithful to that one partner, a lesser sin that is more easily forgiven, or more allowed in those same circles, then homosexuality?
Why is it more important to preserve a marriage even if it may not even be, in that case, a picture of what a marriage should be if commandments and rules are respected, then to respect a marriage that truly is what it's supposed to be?
Why is it more acceptable for a believer to have a classical marriage and with it cheat on his/her spouse and not enjoy that marriage at all, and his/her spouse also, and in the same time like group sex maybe only in porns, what ever, and allow him/her self to get aroused by homosexual scenes of actors in that porn, and that homosexuality is allowed or forgiven to him/her as a believer, but a honest desire by one person towards another of the same sex is not?
It's not even necessary that they re monogamous, but about people as people, better or worse, in some shape of their behavior, character..., because let's not forget, NO MATTER THE SEXUAL ORIENTATION, FAITHFULNESS AND RESPECT FOR THE INSTITUTION AND DESIRE FOR THE SAME KNOWN AS MARRIAGE, ISN'T ABOUT SEXUAL ORIENTATION, IT'S ABOUT WHO PEOPLE ARE AS PERSONS AND WHAT THEIR VALUES AND OPINIONS ARE AND WHAT THEY ASPIRE THEM TO BE in their lives.
So, what if it's two people of the same sex who have in them implanted or developed longing for monogamy and marriage, what then? Should that marriage be less respected then the one with heterosexual partners? "Should it be allowed at all", as has been debated about around the world?
Or is it only a privilege for heterosexual persons even though they might not understand or support it's true meaning and purpose?
Should people be and is it allowed for them to be discriminated in their human rights based on their sexual or any other orientation?! And for what?!
A marriage as a marriage is a wonderful thing.
Problem with marriage is that it is forced and dictated as a social norm that must be fulfilled in order
for a person to be accomplished or accepted or respected human being.
Even though in the very essence of marriage lays love, only a few have called upon love when marriage was trying to be preserved. And almost everything was used to convince people that marriage "must be" in their lives.
A society logically must have it's form, but please, WHAT HAS FORCING PEOPLE TO ARRANGED MARRIAGES for instance, HAS TO DO WITH MARRIAGE AS A SYMBOL AND ACT OF TRUE LOVE AND DESIRE FOR BELONGING TO ONE ONOTHER AND A CONCIOUS WISH FOR IT TO LAST AND ENDURE FOR THE REMAINDER OF THEIR LIVES, UNTILL OLD AGE FOR BOTH OF THEM?!
Is it possible that it is better to be in a marriage where people do not love each other, do not respect each other, do not respect the vows they made to themselves and to God, and are still married, then to be in a marriage or a partnership because they truly love each other and have a common goal in life
and with that marriage, and stand behind their choice because of love for instance?
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT MARRIAGE IS SACRED ABOVE A PERSON?
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT MARRIAGE AS AN INSTITUTION IS MORE VALUABLE THEN A PERSON
AS A HUMAN BEING?
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT LOVE DOESN'T HAVE TO HAVE THE MOST IMPORTANT OR IN FACT ANY ROLE IN MARRIAGE?
"Of course it is".
But considering that "of course" none of us found out about today, it is also "of course" that there is resistance to that, that formation, that set of values, rules and respect for the same.
Of course there is struggle and revolt in people who honestly appreciate marriage and what it stands
for compared to everything that according to them it does not stand for but is being forced or unallowed.
We are constantly repeating that nothing should be more important then a person but it seems that to many people it's more important what sets people apart in their orientations then appreciating people for
what is in their cores.
The meaning of every true faith (and we will not mix faith with organized religion but we will say both faith and religion!) is LOVE.
Every human yearns for love because "out of love they come, love they live, and to love they go".
The foundation of every marriage should be just that, love. But not love for desire to fit into society, climb up social steps, though everyone is entitled to that, and for wanting to notch up marriage as something accomplished in life, the foundation should be love, mutual love, love of one person for the other who they are marrying with.
We are not talking about fashionable marriages, that is irrelevant now!
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT MARRIANGE CREATED, LIVED AND RESPECTED THROUGH
CONCIOUS CHOICE.
And now, each religion and culture has it's own vision of whether a marriage constitutes only of a man and a woman or also by two persons of the same sex who love each other.
To begin with it should be most important to return love into marriage that is to be respected, and then it would be only natural to understand and accept that love transcends sexual differences and similarities between partners and that it is a part of everything that lives, every human and that no one among us can not
and should not try to change anyone's nature when in it's core is love.
You may or may not like someone's love or sexual choices, that is the right of every person.
But it would be sad to live your lives with your hands over your eyes and not see it for what it really is and accept it, and living it freely as you wish, and respecting others to live as they wish.
Yours is to create your own love stories, your sexual stories, because that is what makes you truly happy
or unhappy. Believe me.
FRUSTRATIONS “BECAUSE” AND DISAPROVAL OF SOMEONE'S HETEROSEXUAL OR HOMOSEXUAL ORIENTATION IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT A REASON FOR YOUR SATISFACTION OR
DISSATISFACTION. Trust me! It's just you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong instead of where it
does belong, in your life! This applies to all of us.
That every grown person has the right to watch, and I guess film, homosexual porn, they do, but the right to determine in what and when they will "use", live, homosexuality, that is something that no one has although everybody thinks that they have. The same goes for heterosexuality.
It is every person's individual choice, not homo or hetero sexuality, but one's own sexuality as a personal choice.
Also, I think that nobody, and I mean nobody, has the quality or the grandeur to try to, not impose, all sorts of things are being imposed, each has a choice, but to determine truly what is more valuable, better, primal, honest, moral, Godly. Non of us!
The essence is love. And love doesn't judge.
OK, people may believe they are right, they have the right to "I like it" or "I don't like it" attitudes, but it's not nice to hate. Not because we are walking saints but if people are so selfish then they should know that in doing so they are destroying their own lives and wasting their own time that could have been used for something good in their own lives.
When I said that "that scene" is all of our business because no matter our own sexual orientation after us
will come our children and grandchildren, I meant that you should remove your hands from your eyes as
soon as possible and accept the reality for what it is, sooner you accept it and accept the fact you are a part of it, sooner you will be able to help the generations coming after yours (what ever you think of as your own generation) to grow into good people as much as you affect that.
To be their support and to accept and understand them as much as you possibly can.
Covering your eyes won't make the reality go away because that reality isn't some random scene on a movie screen, it is reality and it is not happening on screen but around you, in your lives.
Everyone has the right to live one's own choices. You. Others. But no matter your own sexual orientation, you have to know you on your own do not make up the world, others make it up also. Respect your own and other people's choices.
I CAN'T ORDER YOU NOT TO JUDGE, BUT DON'T. HOMOSEXUALITY ISN'T A TREND, IT'S NOT FASHION. IT'S PEOPLE WHO ARE LOVINGLY AND SEXUALY INCLINED TOWARDS THE SAME SEX AS THEIR OWN AND THEY ARE NO MORE AND NO LESS DIFFERENT THEN ALL OF US OF HETEROSEXUAL ORIENTATION...
MAYBE TOMORROW YOUR OWN CHILD WILL TELL YOU IT IS GAY AND THAT TOMORROW MIGHT BE TODAY, AND YOU ARE ALREADY MAKING A CHOICE WHETHER THAT WILL BE NORMAL TO YOU, OR AT LEAST IF YOU WILL ACT WITH LOVE, KINDNESS AND HONESTY OR YOU WILL DENY
YOUR OWN CHILD AND IT'S LIFE, AND LIVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR EYES, OR GOD FORBID SOMETHING WORSE...
Because intentionally skipping a scene in a movie is nothing compared to intentionally skipping your entire life for not liking someone's choice!
...Kiss and love each other!
Kisses to all, Your Brigita!
But considering that "of course" none of us found out about today, it is also "of course" that there is resistance to that, that formation, that set of values, rules and respect for the same.
Of course there is struggle and revolt in people who honestly appreciate marriage and what it stands
for compared to everything that according to them it does not stand for but is being forced or unallowed.
We are constantly repeating that nothing should be more important then a person but it seems that to many people it's more important what sets people apart in their orientations then appreciating people for
what is in their cores.
The meaning of every true faith (and we will not mix faith with organized religion but we will say both faith and religion!) is LOVE.
Every human yearns for love because "out of love they come, love they live, and to love they go".
The foundation of every marriage should be just that, love. But not love for desire to fit into society, climb up social steps, though everyone is entitled to that, and for wanting to notch up marriage as something accomplished in life, the foundation should be love, mutual love, love of one person for the other who they are marrying with.
We are not talking about fashionable marriages, that is irrelevant now!
WE ARE TALKING ABOUT MARRIANGE CREATED, LIVED AND RESPECTED THROUGH
CONCIOUS CHOICE.
And now, each religion and culture has it's own vision of whether a marriage constitutes only of a man and a woman or also by two persons of the same sex who love each other.
To begin with it should be most important to return love into marriage that is to be respected, and then it would be only natural to understand and accept that love transcends sexual differences and similarities between partners and that it is a part of everything that lives, every human and that no one among us can not
and should not try to change anyone's nature when in it's core is love.
You may or may not like someone's love or sexual choices, that is the right of every person.
But it would be sad to live your lives with your hands over your eyes and not see it for what it really is and accept it, and living it freely as you wish, and respecting others to live as they wish.
Yours is to create your own love stories, your sexual stories, because that is what makes you truly happy
or unhappy. Believe me.
FRUSTRATIONS “BECAUSE” AND DISAPROVAL OF SOMEONE'S HETEROSEXUAL OR HOMOSEXUAL ORIENTATION IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT A REASON FOR YOUR SATISFACTION OR
DISSATISFACTION. Trust me! It's just you sticking your nose where it doesn't belong instead of where it
does belong, in your life! This applies to all of us.
That every grown person has the right to watch, and I guess film, homosexual porn, they do, but the right to determine in what and when they will "use", live, homosexuality, that is something that no one has although everybody thinks that they have. The same goes for heterosexuality.
It is every person's individual choice, not homo or hetero sexuality, but one's own sexuality as a personal choice.
Also, I think that nobody, and I mean nobody, has the quality or the grandeur to try to, not impose, all sorts of things are being imposed, each has a choice, but to determine truly what is more valuable, better, primal, honest, moral, Godly. Non of us!
The essence is love. And love doesn't judge.
OK, people may believe they are right, they have the right to "I like it" or "I don't like it" attitudes, but it's not nice to hate. Not because we are walking saints but if people are so selfish then they should know that in doing so they are destroying their own lives and wasting their own time that could have been used for something good in their own lives.
When I said that "that scene" is all of our business because no matter our own sexual orientation after us
will come our children and grandchildren, I meant that you should remove your hands from your eyes as
soon as possible and accept the reality for what it is, sooner you accept it and accept the fact you are a part of it, sooner you will be able to help the generations coming after yours (what ever you think of as your own generation) to grow into good people as much as you affect that.
To be their support and to accept and understand them as much as you possibly can.
Covering your eyes won't make the reality go away because that reality isn't some random scene on a movie screen, it is reality and it is not happening on screen but around you, in your lives.
Everyone has the right to live one's own choices. You. Others. But no matter your own sexual orientation, you have to know you on your own do not make up the world, others make it up also. Respect your own and other people's choices.
I CAN'T ORDER YOU NOT TO JUDGE, BUT DON'T. HOMOSEXUALITY ISN'T A TREND, IT'S NOT FASHION. IT'S PEOPLE WHO ARE LOVINGLY AND SEXUALY INCLINED TOWARDS THE SAME SEX AS THEIR OWN AND THEY ARE NO MORE AND NO LESS DIFFERENT THEN ALL OF US OF HETEROSEXUAL ORIENTATION...
MAYBE TOMORROW YOUR OWN CHILD WILL TELL YOU IT IS GAY AND THAT TOMORROW MIGHT BE TODAY, AND YOU ARE ALREADY MAKING A CHOICE WHETHER THAT WILL BE NORMAL TO YOU, OR AT LEAST IF YOU WILL ACT WITH LOVE, KINDNESS AND HONESTY OR YOU WILL DENY
YOUR OWN CHILD AND IT'S LIFE, AND LIVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR EYES, OR GOD FORBID SOMETHING WORSE...
Because intentionally skipping a scene in a movie is nothing compared to intentionally skipping your entire life for not liking someone's choice!
...Kiss and love each other!
Kisses to all, Your Brigita!
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